How Can We Display An Ethic Of Love?
Sermon Notes
Today, we’re continuing our teaching series on a book of the bible called Romans. It’s a series about renewing your mind for the transformation of your life. What we’re talking about specifically today is an ethic of love...We’re talking about how can we display, an ethic of love in our daily lives?...I know we just talked about our military and now we’re talking about love, so some of you might thinking this is contradictory. But it isn’t contradictory, it’s practical, because sometimes our lives have wars and conflicts, other times they have peace and love. Sometimes our relationships have wars and conflicts, other times they have peace and love. In fact King Solomon once said in Ecclesiastes 3, “For everything there is a season...8 a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.” That’s very practical, and today’s text focuses on things to love, things to hate, and how to respond if you’re in a war or conflict with somebody. It focuses on how to display an ethic of love in daily life, and when it comes to love we need to remember love is a verb, which means it requires action...Both skeptics and believers would agree that love is a verb, which means it requires action...Love is sometimes felt with our emotions, but it’s always expressed with our actions. This is what we’re talking about today, so let’s turn to Romans 12 and get into it. You’ll find Romans in the last quarter of the bible, and we’ll be in Romans 12:9-21. Title of the message is How can we display an ethic of love? The big idea is love is a verb, which requires action...Love is a verb, which requires action...
Here’s your context. Romans was written by the Apostle Paul who was a skeptic and enemy of Christianity, until 35 A.D. when he has an interaction with Jesus that changes his life, and he becomes a Christian. He writes this letter to teach others about Jesus and the gospel that transformed his life. The first 11 ch’s of Romans focuses on the gospel and our vertical relationship with God, but the last 5 ch’s focuses on our response to the gospel and how God wants us to live in our horizontal relationship with others. In ch 12 Paul teaches us to offer our lives daily as an act of worship to Jesus, and one of the ways we do that is by loving others like Jesus loved us. In vs 9-21 he’ll teach us some practical ways to love others in and outside the church. He’ll teach us to love others with our actions, because love is a verb, which requires actions. Let’s check it out.
Romans 12:9-21, “Let love be without hypocrisy. Detest evil; cling to what’s good.” So one of the ways we love others is by detesting evil, by hating evil, and clinging to what’s good. We’re to hate the sinful evil things God hates, and love the good things God loves. This can be difficult to balance in our relationships with our current cultural context, because we’re living in a culture that’s teaching us the way to be loving, is to be tolerant and affirming of other people’s beliefs. But being tolerant and affirming is actually one of the most unloving things we can do, because some beliefs are evil and shouldn’t be tolerated or affirmed. For example, I had a friend several years ago who believed she couldn’t be forgiven for the things she did to her family, and she called me to say goodbye. She was literally about to take her own life...So I had my wife call law enforcement to ping her phone, while I kept her talking. I knew if she was talking, she was a live. So I did my best to keep her talking, and as soon as law enforcement arrived she said “You had the cops ping my phone! I hate you! I’ll never forgive you for this!...” But a few years later she called to thank me, because she said that call saved her life...If I did nothing...if I would’ve just tolerated and affirmed her life threatening beliefs, she’d tell you she wouldn’t be alive today.
We cannot tolerate and affirm everybody’s beliefs, because some beliefs are evil, and even deadly...Some beliefs are evil, they’re physically, emotionally, spiritually deadly, and they’re hurting the very people we love...If you truly want to love others well, don’t conform to our culture’s teaching on being tolerant and affirming of everybody’s beliefs. Instead follow the bible’s teachings by detesting evil and clinging to what’s good. Hate the sinful evil things God hates and love the good things God loves. Love people enough to being willing to sit with them, have lunch with them, converse with them saying “I love you, and I’m worried about you. I’m worried about some of the things you’re doing.” Jesus is our greatest example on how to love like this, on how to balance detesting evil and clinging to what’s good. John 1:14 says he lived a life full of grace and truth! He lived a life that was loving, but not affirming of people’s sinful evil beliefs. He shared meals with tax collectors, prostitutes, people alienated in society, had a thief cry out to him for salvation on the cross. He loved all kinds of people so well, that they often felt safe exposing their hearts to him. We should love people so well, that they feel safe exposing their hearts to us. Just like Jesus we should be loving, but not affirming of evil things.
Again vs. 9, “Detest evil; cling to what’s good. 10 Love one another deeply as brothers and sisters. Take the lead in honoring one another. 11 Do not lack diligence in zeal; be fervent in the Spirit;, serve the Lord.” Paul’s saying another way to love others is to serve them as if we’re serving the Lord. He says don’t lack zeal, meaning don’t be apathetic when serving others, which easily happens if we aren’t viewing what we’re doing as serving the Lord. We can get apathetic, bitter, discouraged thinking “I do so much for my family, and they don’t even appreciate it...I do so much for my company, and they don’t even recognize it...” When we feel like this it’s a sign we’re serving ourselves not the Lord, because what we’re really wanting is to gain appreciation and recognition for ourselves. C.S. Lewis states, “There’s valleys filled with beautiful flowers no human eye has discovered. Who did God create that beauty for if no eyes can see it? They were created for God’s eyes, for God’s own pleasure. God sees the beauty of those things, even when nobody else does.” Like the flower God sees all the work you do, even when nobody else does. If nobody appreciates what you’re doing, the Lord sees and appreciates it. If nobody gives you recognition for what you’re doing, the Lord sees and recognizes it. Even if you hate your job and it feels meaningless to you, it isn’t meaningless to the Lord or to those benefiting from your work.
Tim Keller states, “Imagine me trying to build a chair from scratch without the work of anyone else. I would have to travel a great distance to the forest to cut down a tree. But first I would have to build a vehicle by myself to travel there, and I would also have to build the tools necessary to cut down the tree. It would probably take my whole life!” So it takes many people, in many professions, fulfilling many purposes, just to sit in something as simple as a chair. The people who put together the chair you’re sitting in might’ve felt their job was meaningless, but it isn’t meaningless to you, because you’re sitting in it...So even the repetitive screwing in screws on an assembly line has its purpose. Paul’s saying the best way to love and serve others without lacking zeal, is to remember to love and serve them, as if you’re loving and serving the Lord.
Vs. 12, “Rejoice in hope; be patient in affliction; be persistent in prayer.” This is about loving others by helping them in times of affliction. Everybody faces affliction, tough seasons in life...Everybody in here is carrying some sort of burden, and some are carrying heavier burdens than others...What Paul’s teaching us is to be burden lifters, not burden givers...He’s teaching us to love others by being burden lifters, not burden givers...He even says in Vs. 15, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; weep with those who weep.” The implication is for us to have a ministry of presence, meaning we need to be present with people in the peaks and valleys of their lives. But our ministry of presence gets hindered by our ministry of selfies. We’re so focused on ourselves, that we don’t always see what others are going through. I mean when was the last time you took a group picture with family or friends and you’re like “Let me see! I want to see how everybody else looks...I don’t care how I look, I care how everybody else looks!...” We don’t ever do that! It's because we’re so caught up in ourselves that our eyes go right to us, and then we’re like, “Oh we need to take it again. My double chin was exposed, so we need to take it at a higher angle.” I always get nervous when a group of ladies ask me to take a photo, because they start giving tons of instructions. It’s a lot of pressure! They’re like, “Put it up high. No that’s too high. That’s too low. How’s the lighting?” I don’t know about lighting! I just know to point and click...Most of us are so caught up in ourselves, that our eyes go right to looking at ourselves in the photo, and the same is true in life. We’re so caught up in ourselves, that we don’t always see what others are going through in life. Our ministry of presence gets hindered by our ministry of selfies. Paul’s saying we need to have a ministry of presence. We need to be burden lifters, not burden givers.
But he also says we need to be persistent in prayer. It’s because prayer shifts our minds from ourselves to our savior. It shifts our minds from complaining about our burdens, to processing our burdens with Jesus, and asking him how he wants us to respond to our burdens. It helps us to even focus on asking him how he wants us to respond to carrying other people’s burdens. So instead of self-medicating and self-destructing, we need to keep praying and keep processing with Jesus. Instead of holding our burdens in, we need to keep praying our burdens out. Instead of avoiding Jesus because of our burdens, we need to keep praying and inviting Jesus to guide us through our burdens. There will be days where it feels like we’re ready to break, but we need to remember Jesus is more ready and accessible than we think. We need to remember to help carry each other’s burdens, but also to pray inviting Jesus to guide us through our burdens.
Vs. 13, “Share with the saints in their needs; pursue hospitality.” This is about loving others by sharing. It’s about loving others by being generous with the things you have to help meet the needs others have. One of our codes, our core values here at City Awakening is you can give without loving, but you can’t love without giving. It’s because love is a verb, which requires action...If you love your spouse, you’ll give to meet the needs of your spouse. If you love your children, you’ll give to meet the needs of your children. If you love your church, you’ll give to meet the needs of your church. If you love others, you’ll give to meet the needs of others. You won’t just receive blessings from Jesus, you’ll want to share those blessings with others. Just like Jesus gives blessings to meet your needs, you’ll want to share those blessings to help meet other people’s needs. The Roman Emperor Julian was one of Christianity’s worse persecutors, but listen to what he said about the early church’s generosity toward others. Emperor Julian said, “The Christian cause has been specifically advanced through the loving service rendered to strangers...It’s a scandal there isn’t a single one who’s a beggar, and that the Christians care not only for their own poor, but for ours too; while those who belong to us look in vain for the help we should render them.” How did Christianity advance? He said it advanced through the loving service and generosity that Christians were showing those in and outside the church.
Vs. 14, “Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse.” Paul’s saying another way to love others is to bless them when they persecute us. It’s to bless them when they’re in a conflict with us, which is tough for any of us to do. I mean our lives sometimes feel like a boxing match, which consists of punchers and counter punchers. In boxing the punchers are usually the aggressors, the ones who step forward to close the distance and engage. But the counter punchers are usually the patient ones who wait for a punch to be thrown, look for an opening, and then throw some counterpunches. Well the reality is there’s a lot of punching and counterpunching happening every day in our marriages, our families, our friendships, our city, our country. There’s a lot of punching and counterpunching happening every day, which leads to everybody walking away wounded. Paul’s saying if we punch and counterpunch everybody gets wounded. But you know what happens if we turn our punches and counterpunches into blessings? It gives love a chance to win...It gives love a chance to win and heal what our punches and counter punches have wounded and hurt...Punches and counterpunches can’t ever heal our relationships, but if we turn our punches and counter punchers into blessings, it gives love a chance to win.
Vs. 17, “Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Give careful thought to do what is honorable in everyone’s eyes. 18 If possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone...20 But if your enemy is hungry, feed him. If he is thirsty, give him something to drink...” Paul’s giving a few examples here of how we can bless the person we’re in conflict with, because the blessing looks different depending on the conflict. Sometimes the blessing is forgiving them, sometimes it’s praying for them, sometimes it’s walking away from them when you really wanted to lash out at them. The blessings will look different depending on the situation. But notice in vs 18 Paul says if possible, live at peace with everyone, meaning sometimes it isn’t possible...Sometimes it isn’t possible to bless and live at peace with everyone, which aligns with what King Solomon said in Ecclesiastes 3. Sometimes we have to go to war against evil oppressors, enforce the law against law breakers, even step in to protect those in abusive relationships. I want to be clear about this because some think staying in an abusive relationship is a loving way to bless their abuser, but staying isn’t a blessing it’s enabling. It’s enabling the abuser to continue their sinful evil actions, which goes against the hating evil and clinging to good in vs 9. So the blessing isn’t staying and enabling, it’s leaving for their good and yours. The blessing is leaving, and as a church we’re willing to help you with that. So when Paul says if possible, he’s saying it isn’t always possible to bless and live at peace with everyone. But if possible, we should strive for it.
Vs. 21, “Don’t be conquered by evil, but conquer evil with good.” It’s another reminder to “conquer evil with good.” It’s like Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. said, “Darkness can’t drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate can’t drive out hate; only love can do that.” It’s love that can drive out the evil darkness in our marriages, families, friendships, relationships. Punching and counterpunching can’t do that, because if we keep punching and counter punching we’ll keep wounding. But if we bless and love, our relationships have a chance to be healed and hole again.
The big idea is love is a verb, which requires action...Love is a verb, which requires action, and Paul’s giving us several ways to love others in and outside the church. The reason he waits 12 ch’s to teach us this, is because he knew we’re going to need God’s help to live it out.
He knew he had to teach us to rely on God’s mercies, before striving to live out God’s mercies. He knew we’d need to rely on Jesus, who perfectly displayed God’s love and mercy on the cross.
Jesus being God incarnate could’ve counter punched by destroying every individual who mocked and crucified him on the cross, but instead he offered his love and mercy to them saying “Forgive them for they know not what they do!” He could’ve counterpunched and destroyed us for sinning against him too, but instead he says “I love you...I forgive you!” The deeper we press into the love and mercy Jesus has shown us, the deeper his love and mercy will flow through us. The deeper we press into the love and mercy of Jesus, the deeper his heart will transform our hearts, into loving hearts like his. 1st John 4:19 says, “We love, because Jesus first loved us.” We love, in response to his incredible love. We love, because love is a verb, which requires action.