Lessons From My Sabbatical
I just had the privilege of taking month-long sabbatical from ministry. After 17 years of full-time ministry, mostly focused on starting and building new work, it was a welcomed break. A sabbatical is intended to be an extended break from something for the sake of rest, study, and/or personal growth, but it takes intentionality and practice to learn how to do this well. I did some research from other pastors beforehand to at least have a foundation to build on, but I realized along the way that, like all disciplines, this is something you don’t just do once and get the most out of it. In fact, I found myself feeling anxious at times hoping that I wouldn’t waste the time, and then reminding myself to trust the fruit of my experience to God. So, I’m writing this to document some of my takeaways for myself and to give a more thorough answer to the question, “How was your sabbatical?” than “Good.” That’s a little shallow and simplistic.
In planning, I decided I would try to focus my time on 5 different areas: Spiritual Retreat, Restoring the Soul, Connecting with Friends and Family, Marriage Enrichment, and Rest and Recreation. I tried to strategically plan the month around those five things as much as possible. Of course, a month goes by pretty quick, especially because this came at the tail end of a very tough situation for our family (different story), and I had to return to a different part-time job I have for the last 2 weeks of my time off. However, I was able to spend a few days completely unplugged by myself in silence and solitude (I highly recommend that for everyone, at least once a year). We were able to spend a week away as a family disconnected from normal life, and Brittany and I had a kid-free week to rest and reconnect. We did spend some time connecting with friends and family, but that was the weakest area of the five.
As I read and prayed, I also journaled periodically throughout the month. The day before I returned to the office, I spent most the day reflecting on what I had written down, and here are the 7 biggest things that stood out to me.
God is good. This seems like an obvious one, but sometimes the simple truths are the greatest. In my time alone, God led me to read and meditate on Psalms 88-90. Psalm 88 is full of turmoil and questions. “What is God doing? Can he even hear us? Why isn’t he intervening?” But it’s almost as if Psalm 89 comes in answer, “I will sing of the steadfast love of the Lord, there’s no one else like him, he is mighty, and love and faithfulness go before him.” This was important for me because more than anything else I needed to be resting in God’s goodness. The goal was to pull away from the chaos and busyness and be renewed, but renewal has to begin with who God is. It was also important because it was a reminder that I can be honest with God, even question what he is doing and how he is doing it. I can be transparent with all my emotions and sin, in fact, he’s the only one that can really handle all of it. And he still loves me, still forgives me, and still keeps all of his promises. “Blessed be the Lord forever! Amen and amen.”
Time is essential. The second thing I realized is that time is essential to my spiritual and emotional strength and well-being. Again, one of the reasons for taking a sabbatical of any kind is to break out of the normal pattern of life. We get caught in the cycle of doing, and even when we try to be intentional about having times of rest or a sabbath, we tend to form ruts that are hard to get out of. The answer is not to try something else, but to take time to be. So often we spend all our prayer time asking God to use his power to accomplish our desires, but we rarely stop to just sit in his presence, remembering that his presence is power! Forcing myself to sit still on the porch of some cabin for 2 days with nothing but my Bible, a book, and a journal, made me realize how valuable it is to have extended, uninterrupted time with God on a daily basis. It’s rare I can take 12 hours in one day, but I need to be intentional about prioritizing not just quiet times of reading my Bible and praying, but times of quiet to practice the presence of God. The 17th Century monk, Brother Lawrence, said, “we should establish ourselves in a sense of God’s Presence by continually communing with Him. It is shameful to abandon this divine communion to occupy our minds with trivial matters.” The Apostle Paul said we should “pray without ceasing.” Before we can live with this type of ongoing communion and prayer, we have to learn to practice it in the still, undistracted moments of silence and meditation that can happen over a cup of coffee in the morning, a 15 minute reprieve at lunch, a walk around the neighborhood in the evening, or more extended times as we can find them.
I have limitations. One ugly truth I realized is that I prefer to be needed rather than needy. Most of the time I don’t stop to ask for help, and I even enjoy taking on responsibility. While I am aware that I have limits, it’s still easy to drift into rough waters. Before long there are too many waves bobbing me up and down, and I feel more like I’m drowning than swimming. There are many factors that create limits in our lives: available time, family dynamics, health, knowledge, etc. I need to operate with a greater awareness of my limits so that I can thrive and not just survive. It not only hurts me, but hurts others when I take on too much. My stress has a negative effect on my family. I can end up doing a lot, but not doing anything really well. And, I need to allow other people the space to take on responsibility instead of doing it for them. Ultimately, accepting my limitations is about expressing trust in God. I am not God and don’t share his supernatural characteristics. Thankfully, he knows me, sees me, and is more than capable of being in control of my life and circumstances.
Sin runs deep. I just revealed my pride, but the more I meditated on my self-righteousness and reflected on Scripture the more I realized how deep sin runs in my life. Sometimes we tend to only think about the obvious sins that pop up in our lives, like lying, anger, lust, gossip, etc. But those actions are usually the fruit of much deeper sin issues that affect our identity and come from a lack of trust or belief in God. To stick with the water analogy, there’s this undercurrent of sin in our lives that is not obvious from the surface, but if we’re not careful it’s always pulling us away from the shore. It’s good to regularly look below the surface and be aware of the undertow. Again, this takes time and practice. It’s not always easy to be aware of our emotions and attitudes, and then to figure out what sin is hiding behind those feelings that drive our actions. The Lord revealed some things to me that were hard to admit, but hopefully a fresh awareness can help me continue in my transformation and pursuit of holiness.
Rest over escape. It can feel good to escape. Whether it’s leaving work an hour early, vegging out to Netflix, a weekend vacation to the beach, or scrolling through social media, we escape to get a quick break from reality. Our lives are busy and tough to manage. Author Mark Sayers says that anxiety in our world is inescapable. It’s a chronic condition that affects everyone. We are bombarded with over 10,000 pieces of information a day. We do our best to keep up with the pace of life, but most of the time we feel like we’re behind. That’s why we’re drawn towards escape. But the truth is we need rest, not escape. Rest comes from regular and intentional breaks designed to recharge us. When we escape our goal is usually to just numb the pain. Rest helps us have a greater sense of clarity and purpose because we spend time doing things that are life giving to us. We exercise, read, get out in nature, spend time with family, get away from technology, play games, cook, create something. Everyone rests in a different way. But I realized that when I feel the need to escape, I’ve probably not been resting well. God gave us the Sabbath for this very purpose. It’s also part of accepting our limits. On the seventh day God rested, not because he was tired, but because he was enjoying his creation. I need to stop and enjoy regularly – enjoy God, enjoy the people he’s blessed me with, and enjoy his creation. This also helps me be satisfied. Escape can be driven by a desire for satisfaction. We want to feel that sense of fulfillment instead of emptiness, but whatever we escape to rarely last very long. Rest helps us remember that we will only ever be satisfied in Christ. When we are regularly filled with him, we won’t feel the longing to be filled with other things. I need to live and work from a place of rest.
Every day counts. Moses prayed in Psalm 90, “So teach us to number our days that we may get a heart of wisdom.” Life comes and goes quickly. I am convinced that every day I wake up is a day God wants me alive. I want to make use of my days. That doesn’t mean I’m trying to live my best life….YOLO! It means I want to pursue that heart of wisdom. I want to do my best to not dread the day or wish it away. I want to enjoy the moments God gives me and do things that matter. At the end of his prayer Moses says, “Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us, and establish the work of our hands upon us; yes, establish the work of our hands!” I pray that God would establish the work of my hands.
I love the Church. I’ve been actively involved in church my entire life. There has not been a season where I haven’t attended or served a church. And I’m very grateful to say that every church that I’ve been a part of has been Gospel-centered, Bible-teaching, and mission-minded. That’s a big part of why I am a pastor today. I know that’s not everyone’s story, and that’s ok. But I believe in the Church and love it. Over the course our sabbatical, Brittany and I decided we would make it priority to attend a church each Sunday with our family. It was a blessing to be able to just attend without responsibility for a few weeks. And it was a blessing to attend 4 very different churches but still be warmly welcomed, participate in authentic worship, and hear the Gospel preached through expository (verse by verse) preaching. The Church gets a bad rap for a lot of things, and statistically the Church in the “West” is in decline. It’s true, there is no perfect church, but there are a lot of great churches that exist that are genuinely trying to spread the gospel and make disciples. I’m thankful for those pastors and leaders, and I pray that God would bless their ministries. If you are not a part of a church or if you just casually attend a church, I want to encourage you to find a church where you can link arms with its members and get on board with the mission of advancing the Kingdom of God.
I’m thankful for the time I had away. I’m especially thankful for the other staff members and all the incredible volunteers that took on extra responsibilities and helped everything continue to operate smoothly. I’m not sure when I’ll get another month-long sabbatical, but I’m looking forward to carrying these lessons and practices with me into the next season of ministry! And, may God “establish the work of my hands.”
